It seems sometimes like studying abroad is more about crossing the hurdles than enjoying the time in between. I know that isn't true, and that the good stuff will and does outweigh the hurdles by far, but it's easy to feel like half the things are great, half of them aren't. You have the worst class ever and then the best afternoon ever. You can have fluent two hour conversations with your host mom and be completely useless in the presence of a fast-talking salesperson.
The last week and a half has certainly been a period of opposition. Some of our classes are getting really frustrating and a little hard to deal with. The grading has really been stressing me out and it's impossible to talk to the professors about it. One of our professors is great, and his philosophies are pretty similar to American ideas, like that you should explain activities to students and use exercises rather than straight memorization to teach and that you shouldn't be condescending to your students. (Really radical concepts.) But otherwise, I guess I have to look at it as a case study of the French culture. The professors don't have the same respect for students as in the US, things aren't explained well if at all and we're tested on stuff we haven't been prepared for.
But on the other hand, we had beautiful weather for a couple of days. Last Friday we walked around the lake, tried to go to a dance class and failed but had a really fun time wandering around the sports area of our school, and then we went and bought drumstick ice creams and took them to the park and sat and talked for a few hours in the sun. It was so lovely. All the fountains in Dijon have been turned on, and they're beautiful! There's one right outside my house and it's surrounded by violets and poppies that have just bloomed. This Wednesday was also really fun. Cha and I had lunch and shared a rhubarb tart, which was delicious, before doing some shopping. We had dinner at the Condorcet, as usual, which is always nice and relaxing. We also got to talk to Michel on the phone for a few minutes. And on Thursday one of our professors asked us for suggestions as to how to change the course, and we had a really productive conversation.
So it's easy to feel down, but, luckily, it's easy to feel up, too. Traveling sort of makes people bipolar. But despite it, and because of it, you learn a lot, even when you've only eaten salad for three days because you're in a Germanic city and your only other option is blood sausage or ox tail or something. We're exactly halfway through our time here, and I think April brought with it a little bit of a slump for us. Between making summer plans and being frustrated with classes it was easy to get a little homesick. But the good part is that you learn. We're always learning and always thinking and mulling and I already feel like I couldn't possibly articulate what I've learned so far. And one of those things is that the positive and the negative come together, especially in an experience like this, and you just have to know that. But the best part is that that means that there's always a positive after a negative, and even when you have had a really awful week, you get to go away on vacation with the best nine girls ever in eighty-degree weather with the nicest, loveliest psuedo-mother/tour guide/teacher and explore a new place, and you have reason again to say over and over, "Is this real life?" Being here obviously brings with it a storm of emotions, a lot of them conflicting, but what I feel above all, when I think about my home and when I'm doing things here, is lucky.
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